Saturday, August 25, 2012

On love and other relationships

When I was in Houston having lunch at Mission Burrito with Jessica and Jules, our conversation drifted over to relationships. I love discussing relationships and personal issues with friends because they can guide you toward an objective evaluation of your situation. Things you fretted about for days become obvious. Juli suggested I write about this on my blog- so here I am.

I watched The Five Year Engagement on the plane and loved the Elmo/Cookie Monster scene where Violet and her sister are arguing in Elmo/Cookie voices in front of the five-year-old. There is no clip of it on Youtube, but the most important line you’ll hear between laughing uncontrollably is this:

There is no perfect cookie, just pick one and take a bite!

Does this sound jaded? Maybe so, but there is no way to meet the millions of people out there. This has been the theme of my life recently: deal with the consequences. Don’t fret so much making the decision- you don’t know what’s the best route is and you probably never will.

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You should leave something because you don’t like the current status, not because you think there’s something better out there. Even if you can’t express why in words, the desire that you want to leave it enough. The last part I got from the Dear Sugar columns by Cheryl Strayed- I love this advice column. She is talking about relationships here, but I think this advice applies to life in general.

I know this is hard to do when you only see the shiny pretty surfaces everyone else puts out (um, facebook?). And when you are so involved in your own life, it’s difficult to see clearly… I should know.

I think this post got a little ramblier than I’d planned but my main points are these:

- Ask your friends to give you an honest assessment of your situation.
- Know how you are feeling about the situation.

These two sound contradictory. But I think when you are having that conversation with your friend, observing your own reactions will help you realize how you feel. Often times all we need is a listener who helps us lay out our own emotions.

I think this is me getting wiser because college-Yesle did not do these things! But in talking with the J’s I realized how much others see, even if they are not living out your life step by step. So Jules and Jessica- you guys are wonderful. I miss chatting with you guys already.

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