I’m heading to Durham tomorrow morning to see the lovely Lobo. Four months is too long without seeing this girl!!! With our impending reunion I thought about how we often only do a quick “touch and go” with our feelings.
I tuck away feelings (because you know, I’m so busy with school and whatnot) until my discomfort grows and sort of explodes on me. Then I have this huge mess on my hands I must deal with. So I’ve been trying to acknowledge my feelings more, as they rise. With this comes getting to the root of why I’m feeling certain feelings. Like why dental school stresses me out.
Here’s what it comes down to:
I believe school defines me. My grades reflect on my value as a person. Therefore, if I don’t get good grades, I am unworthy as a person and no one will love me.
See how ridiculous that sounds when I reason it out? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is incredible. And recognizing my faulty reasoning helps me realize why I feel so CRAPTASTIC when I don’t do well on an exam.
Also, did you read this semester’s issue of ASDA’s Mouth? The story about fighting cancer in dental school really put my own life in perspective. And that quote: we “turned the DAT into our once chance to avert the apocalypse".
It’s the journey, not the destination. I don’t have to wait until I get there (where is it anyway?) to feel happy.