Sunday, December 15, 2013

love song for no one


Dare I say it? One more week.

My friends (who are done with med school exams and big end of the year reports etc) are cheering me on, but right now the motivation comes from within. It’s like running in a race. You push yourself because you see the end: you would sprint even if there were no spectator along the side of the last mile.

Here’s an observation I’ve had about myself this year. It’s rough doing it alone.

A Love Letter For You mural project by Steve Powers
all over West Philadelphia! Picture

I don’t mean it in the sense that you feel there’s a big problem that needs to be solved in the future (aka get married and have kids). But even for that moment alone, when you are going through everything, it is nice (it must be nice) to have someone sharing that experience.

I always said I’d rather have a successful career than a successful marriage. I envied women who were hanging out with the big boys at board meetings and wearing pant suits while sipping coffee at 6AM, not those with lovely kids and adoring husbands. Now I don’t think I know.

It’s funny. I see my dental school friends who are married (or in serious relationships) and it’s amazing to see how much support they receive from home. This kind of love does not depend on their having a stellar GPA or awesome molar preparations. It’s truly unconditional. Last week my dental school classmate threw an early Christmas showing of Love Actually. There were like three couples there who are so wonderful (and so different!) in their own unique way. Just seeing them made my heart melt.

And yet I am not actively looking to find someone. I somehow think it’ll just happen naturally, despite the fact that I spend 57 hours a week at dental school. Like last night, someone I have a mad crush on asked me what I was doing tonight. I said, “STUDYING, duh.”

What do I want? What do I need?

- Yesle


  1. gosh my thoughts exactly..not really looking or sad that I'm not in a relationship right now, but if I'm studying forever when will it happen?
    Praying for you to finish the semester strong!

  2. P.S. I'd love to know some of your real opinions about Penn...I've got to decide where I'm actually going to apply and am very open minded to anywhere right now! my email is if you get a chance on your break to shoot me some of your thoughts on the good and bad. Thanks!

    1. Hi Jessie, I just sent you an email! Thank you for your thoughts! Semester is finally over for me = tons of sleeping. It's noon and I just had breakfast. ;)

  3. It IS hard to go at it alone. But somehow I think it makes us stronger, more independent, and more resilient. And those are never bad qualities to have!

    And it also makes us value the other relationships in our life even more. I'm here for you, anytime!

    1. Yeah, I think being in a relationship makes me pretty tunnel-visioned so these single-times may serve as a growth period for me. ;) And I know you are Lobo! <3 Same for you.