This post has been sitting in my draft box for a long time. I haven’t written “It’s personal” posts in a long time. Sometimes I overthink things!!! You’ll see what I mean…
“Can I think about that for a second?” I had to stop a conversation I was having with a stranger on the subway.
She pointed out something and I needed to really chew on a point she had made. I’m going to share it with you and hope that it changes the way you think too:
Nothing has meaning intrinsically- until you attach meaning to it.
You have the power to say something or… nothing.
I attach more meaning to events than the actual event themselves, which cause me to freak out over them! These are the facts first:
- I got a C on an exam.
Internals (with internal locus of control) feel more anxiety and guilt when dealing with failures. For exams, my classmates will say, “That was a hard exam! Don’t be so hard on yourself. Professor asked a lot of questions she didn’t emphasize in lecture.”
But I’ll take this C really personally, like this:
- I am a lazy person who obviously doesn’t care about my dental career. I am dumb and my classmates will think that I’m dumb. I’ll never get anywhere with this lackadaisical attitude. I am not disciplined enough and this is a huge personality flaw. I will never learn from my mistakes and I keep sabotaging myself. I have my priorities messed up.
I can say instead: I had some bad luck. I didn’t do well. Let’s move on. It’s a huge shift in thinking coming from me who overthinks everything… and I’m not completely there yet, but I’m on my way.
Much love and thanks to Laura who invited me to her special evening. And for starting this “nothing has meaning…” conversation with me. Do I sound a little existentialist? What I mean is that you need to give events significant positive meaning. :)