Sunday, February 7, 2016

Worst week of my life

January 21 ~ 28, 2016.

That week is going to deserve a special chapter in my biography because my emotions were SO up and down. 

Boards exam being cancelled, not matching into a residency program, some hiccups in my personal life… And on top of it all, I was eating poorly, skipping gym, not sleeping through the night, and drinking too much... coffee. Self-care had been tossed out the window. 

I still took my “celebratory trip”- which I felt extremely undeserving of, but couldn't cancel because of airplane fee's $$$- but I’m glad I did. I put in all the hard work (regardless of outcome) and pulled through with a plan. I spent time with my oldest friends (my longest #LTR #9years) who know me well who both 1) took my mind off things and 2) gave me honest feedback. They also knew me enough to call me out when I'm being too self-pity boo-hoo.

My best friend with our matching necklaces

Since then, there’s been interesting developments I’m not ready to share publicly yet, but let’s say that the universe has a funny way of doing things. 

Snowstorm in Mt. Rainier National Park, where we went on a blind hike: 

What's helped me in terms of dealing with this huge personal disappointment: being vulnerably open with other people, seeing this as an opportunity to gain resilience, seeking others' thoughts/opinions, laughing over good food, and keeping busy. 

I'm identifying some parts of my character I want to develop: become less vain (a big part of my worry was that I'll seem like a failure to others), become more self-reliant (trust in my instinct and follow through w/my decisions), be flexible with changes (because have you seen my Google calendar?)

Not there yet, but getting there...